Learning Curves

Today I've been fussing around developing a Zazzle store for fun. 

Errr....it hasn't been exactly all that much fun because there's been a HUGE learning curve involved. 

I'm new to Zazzle, and so I'm scratching my blond feathers a lot trying to figure it out. There is soooo much to learn!

So without further ado, here's my latest creative effort. Mind you, this Zazzle page needs more bedazzling, but hey, it's a start!

Just click on the link below called BikerBlond777, and you should speed right on over there. 

Please laugh when you get there. That will make me feel much better. 

BikerBlond777

Up Your Aspirations and Live Large

It's one of my beliefs that we are designed to Live Large.

Let me 'splain more about this for those who want to know what I mean. Have you heard the famous Marianne Williamson quote about our deepest fear is that we're inadequate? 

Here's the quote by Marianne in full:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

As a small muppet, I relish this quote. I cherish this quote. I live this quote so even though I may be small, I never play small.

Have a beautiful weekend and Live Large! 

Solidarity

Just to make it perfectly clear, I am one of the 99%.

Many might imagine since I'm in galleries, on posters, in films and videos, etc. that I'm mega wealthy.

Untrue!

In actuality I'm like most of your every day muppets/people in that I struggle with the ever increasing stress of inflation & competition for jobs. Oh, Miss Piggy has it so good! See my Facebook page in this regard. While you're there, LIKE ME for heaven's sake.


So guys and girls and muppets and puppets--I'm letting you know I'm with you! 


Somehow we'll figure out what to do with this whole economic disparity mess. I still have hope.


My sense is that if we can keep the laughter moving and the smiles going and the joy lifting that these frequencies will transform the financial landscape. 


Miracles DO happen.

 

It's An Acquired Taste

I don't know where it began but I suspect it began by watching too many Saturday Night Live skits OR reviewing all the many self-serving documentaries as part of the voting academy for the Motion Picture Association.

These two sources began my taste for horrible acting and direction, and I acquired a taste for videos and films that are so bad they're good. Or as I prefer to say, they're so bad they're great.

And thusly my taste became an obsession and I now enjoy creating my own horrible YouTube videos. Might as well join in the fun, right? After all, I've made enough horrible films, I might as well make my own at this point.

This is what I conveyed to my therapist the other day when she asked why I think my videos are so funny. She doesn't get me, but a lot of people do. And those that get me are sophisticated, worldly, not-so-easily-amused, and perhaps a touch jaded.


Won't you join this very elite crowd and LIKE my Facebook page?


If you don't, you can always buy one of my posters on the street.


Was this post guilt-inducing enough? 


If not, I'll have to resort to more extreme measures.

 

Four Ways To Be More Joyful

As you may--or may not--know, I call myself a Joyologist.

This 'Joyologist' title really appeals to me because it sounds respectable and somewhat serious, even though what I do is clown around, make jokes, and do my best to uplift others in every silly way I can. Thus, I find the title quite funny.

Confession: I'm not always happy. But when I find myself in that 'unhappy' place, I recall the four principles written above:

Do what makes you happy.
Be with who makes you smile.
Laugh as much as you breathe.
And love as long as you live.


If I put these principles into action, I become JOYFUL again.


And the Joy Frequency is where you'll most often find me.


See you there!

 

How To Walk The Catwalk Like A Cat

After watching Dancing With The Stars last night, I was inspired to post a photo from my 80's heyday when I was a Super Model walking the catwalks for all the top fashion designers.


For those unfamiliar with the term "catwalk", the definition is this: a catwalk is a narrow flat platform which runs into an auditorium and where models strut their stuff. 

All the top fashion houses loved my large head and striking good looks plus I always smiled a lot unlike most of the other models who liked to make sad faces thinking this made them look skinnier.

See that black thing I'm carrying in the photo? That was my very own boombox carried like an expensive tote. So 80's! But I digress...

The SECRETS to walking like a cat on the catwalk for all you inspiring wannabe catwalk models are:

Imagine your hips are swaying in a figure eight motion as you walk. This sensual motion will propel you down the catwalk with grace. Let those hips be loosey-goosey.

Imagine you are a cat advancing on your prey. Be very quiet, contained and focused.

Imagine a delicious dinner awaiting you after the show. 

There you have it. Any questions?

Some serious promotion is required on my part:

Take your mouse....move it to the right upper corner...and click on it. Then LIKE me on Facebook. There may be something in it for you around the next corner.

And a huge ShoutOut to my brand new YouTube friends: 

TVsCraigFerguson and HeyItsMilly.

All of you get it! But that's another post:

How To Be So Bad You're Great

Before They Were Famous

Every October I remember the hoopla surrounding the release of my
film "Busting Dust" starring me and you-know-who! 

Yeh...he of the vampire world and Katy of the pop star singing world went on to become BIG stars while I am still an indie favorite.

That's how it goes in Hollyweird. 

Back in 2007 my agent thought I was gonna become a HUGE star, and I am in Asia where the film is an underground classic.

And now in October 2011 I'm still making the worst vids I can muster and putting them on YouTube. 

Actually it's kinda fun being an up and comer.

When you're down, the only way to go is UP! That's a bonus!

Grandma Gets Recruited

Because my great grandma (x8) was so fierce & feisty, she immediately caught the attention of the legendary Shaolin Monks once she arrived in Japan, and they recruited her to apprentice with them. Since she had left everything behind her, she agreed to this new life. 

Thus, she moved to the Shaolin Temple in China and apprenticed with the monks for the remainder of that lifetime and four more until she finally became a Master.

The developed abilities of strength, flexibility & pain endurance were genetically passed onto my Mother and eventually to me. 

Each generation has added one new skill set. I have the ability to teleport through space-time to watch over others and protect them. Here I am with you-know-who just doing what comes naturally!

 

Let The Stories Begin...

As you may recall if you've read my posts or my Facebook page, then you know I'm writing a book about my illustrious ancestors. 

The reward poster (above) is of my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandma. She said she was Not Guilty, and didn't stick around to get lynched.


The Backstory (or at least HER side of the story) is this:


When some jerks (using current lingo) chopped off the tails of some of her prize horses, she went and did an Annie Oakley on their asses bodies. And then she took off riding like the wind until she boarded a boat and headed to Japan.


Why would jerks do such a thing to her horses? Because horse hair is very valuable and used for bridles & belts. Plus they were probably drunk. 

As she galloped away, she was overheard to say,

"This ain't no crime, this ain't no jig, this ain't no fooling around..."

These words were later transformed into the lyrics of a famous song, altered into current lingo:


"This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no fooling around..."





 

Heroes, Gurus and Other Poobahs

As my buddies know, I'm a huge fan of Stephen Colbert.

He's The Man! 

We have a few things in common such as we both thrive on thunderous applause and love to play with & punk others--especially the pompous, pretentious types.

However, I'm probably not even on his gaydar.

I mean radar.

Yet he was kind enough to let me get into a photo with him this year. Oh, that other famous Gates lady was in the shot too, but he was pointing at ME.


Here's a copy of my tweet for that memorable moment:


“I am #teachers …and you can too!” Join @Stephenathome & @Melindagates Foundation to raise $100K for teachers! http://smgf.co/19662


That little http photo link in the tweet graphically demonstrates how taken he was with me. 

My next dream is to meet and have my photo taken with two hilarious men: Swami Beyondananda and Puppetji, both masters of word play. I could sit at their feet all day & steal ideas.


Swami B. has so many great quotes and words of wisdom. Here's one I adore:

"There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train the world, and we'll never have to change it again."


See what I mean? Swami is so down to earth.


 

How To Be A Super Model

The MOST important quality in becoming a Super Model is to embrace what makes you unique.

Most Super Models have supreme self confidence and accept themselves the way they are. 

For example, if a Super Model has a gap between her front teeth, she smiles big and wide anyway. She doesn't alter this gap, and many a famous super model has this gap.

If a model should have a Large nose such as I do, then there is no disguising such an nose. Why whittle it down to a tiny little thing? Let it shine in all it's golden glory I say.

If you can learn to love yourself exactly as you are, then you will radiate amazing charisma.

This self-love is what will turn you from a so-so model to a Super Model!


Hey, it worked for me! Just Saying!

 

And So It Begins

Yes, my friends....I did it!

I stepped into FACEBOOK trap! Yikes! And set up a Like Page.

Thus far, I have THREE Likes! Yay!

Now I'm trying to figure out how to add one of those cool Like Me badges on this blog....



Until then, it's a challenge to get a link to my new Like Page to work. Maybe it has something to do with cookies?!


The link worked on Twitter, but not here. Hmmmm....


Back to the drawing board...


Anyways...just type Biker Blond into the Facebook search engine, and there I be. LIKE ME!

Wish me luck on this new adventure into this Giant New World.

Mooki's Ghosties

As I mentioned before in another post, finding costumes to fit us isn't the easiest job in the world. Finally yesterday Mooki's head piece for his costume was located by an astute shopper fiend/friend.

Mooki & me are thrilled to have his *ghosties*--they match his eyes, dontcha think? 

Now we're nearly ready to go trick or treating. Yay!

Farewell Steve Jobs

Yesterday the world lost a brilliant man, Steve Jobs.
He finally made that big passage we all will make some day--he crossed over the rainbow.

Here's what he had to say about this final life passage:

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

Laugh And The World Laughs With You

As I was saying in yesterday's post, it's good to laugh. And I'll do almost anything to make your day & make you smile.

Smiles are good for you. 

One of my by-lines on my YouTube is what my videos are all about: smile snacks.

My BFF Katy Perry has this to say about laughter:

"I'm all right with being laughed at and being laughed with, and just laughing. That's the inspiration...to have a laugh."

She summarized my philosophy perfectly.

You Gotta Laugh!

As you know I have many fans, and they come in all shapes, sizes, age, locales, and economic groups.

It's always a mystery where a photo of me will appear.

Sometimes they're emailed to me as this one was, and it really made me laugh for his mouth is as down as down can be while my mouth is as up as up can be. Hopefully he's just making this face because he's being funny!

Keep sending in those pix of me ya'll. I really appreciate it. Just send them to my twitter account. 

I can always use a good belly laugh or giggle or two.

I Get Around A Bit

Yesterday Mooki & I FINALLY got out of bed and yodeled for our latest YouTube. It's super silly, and that's our goal--the sillier the better! Our philosophy can be summed up like this:

It's so bad it's good!

We try hard to make the videos so BAD they're GREAT! 

This week we reached a milestone: 44 subscribers and over 200 friends on YouTube. Yay! And these are real people/muppets/puppets too! 


So if you're a YouTuber, please go the right hand top corner and go to my YouTube, subscribe, and friend me. 


I promise I don't bite. 


Even Vicky's a fan!




 

Just Hanging With Mooki

Mooki & I are hanging out this weekend just chillin.

This is one of my fav ways to spend the weekend.

We're discussing our next video and trying to get moving on making a new one. But you know how hard it is on the weekends when you're really comfy.