Smile Snacks

Non-caloric~non-fat~just pure un-*adult*-erated fun!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

What a spectacular vacation! It was just what I needed to restore my juice! Let me share a few of the highlights:

1. I wrestled a croc, but this totally adorable croc *sadly* decided it was no match for me and swam away. It's a lot of fun wrestling a croc in mud. Who knew?! The secret is to whisper a very sacred word known only to initiates of the Great Pyramid. Somehow crocs remember this sacred word through their genetics and they become disoriented. I learned this in a book handed down to me from my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great Grandma.
2. Mooki & I swam a gadzillion miles a day through brilliant, clear, turquoise Bahamian waters & splashed around with the dolphins. And in the process this fashionista *yours truly* decided turquoise is too fabulous for words and now I only want to wear turquoise EVERYTHING--except for my classic black motorcycle jacket. I'd like to eat & breathe & drink turquoise if such was possible.

3. Mooki & I had so much fun playing practical jokes on people. One joke we played was with our fart book,  "Farts Around The World". 

In this book we read, "Indeed flatulence is one of the great universal languages."

This gave Mooki & me an idea. We would press one of the buttons in this book (ten of them to be exact) which provide loud, expressive farts as we hid under dinner tables. Our favorite ones were "The Pressure Drop" and "The Cloud Splitter". 

Of course, everyone looked at their dinner companions assuming it was one of them letting out a stinker, and then the awkward laughter would begin. I'm telling you, we lightened up a lot of boring dinner tables and brought people together in laugh-fueled camaraderie! They'll never forget that vacation! And neither will we--we laughed more than the price of 10 books! We left for home thinking we were some sort of gods.

And what did YOU do on Spring Break?

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Color Me Springtime

Springtime is the season when I grow restless!

Like the seasonal plants I wish to bloom & grow new colors and flowers. My winter face looks too blue and ashen. Ya know?!

I wish to paint the town and colorize my world.

The old seems boring & lame. The new beckons.

Yes, I've had a bad, bad case of SPRING FEVER!!!!!!!


At least I know what I absolutely don't wish to do:

1. Get drunk & hurl
2. Meet a new dude
3.  Post on this blog :-0

AND YOU??? What is your ideal Spring Break?



Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Going Tribal

Friends & fans: sharing a snap from my latest Fame & Fortune magazine shoot. This editorial is called "Going Tribal" so they decked me out in all sorts of tribal gear I'm guessing. 

Don't I look fierce?! 

On another note, I'm so shaken up by the latest award gifted to me (see comment in earlier post) I don't know what to do but float around the room on champagne bubbles. 

OMG! Now I have to think of others to share this most awesome of awards. But who???

Suggestions Please!



Thursday, April 5, 2012

My Motivational Poster

Friends & Fans: I decided to make my very own motivational poster to express my philosophy of life.

Whaddya think?

And yes, I purposely chose this photo of me to let others know I 'own' my big yellow nose and love & accept it and myself.

Feedback please!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

I Spy

Friends: I have something SRS to share with you today. This humble spoofing muppet--yours truly--is being censored by B.B.

Yes, hard to believe but tis true! Here's what happened:

Twice I uploaded a congrats to M. Piggy & the Fashion Police about M. Piggy's appearance on the show on FB. Twice it was taken off by SOMEONE. Was it political pressure put on FB by the muppet gang? Was it tweaking by the FP crew? Who did it and why?

Thus, I've decided ZERO to write about any of my muppet compadres anymore!  No more pr or press or publicity for them!
Now it will all about ME and Mine!

In this regard, I'm sharing the gift (photo above) I was given by my adoring fans on my last trip.  Isn't it cute? I love it!

And I'm also posting this on my FB page. If it disappears from there once again, you & I will both KNOW!