Who Will Bring The Heat?

After taking time out to birth two adorable babies, I'm back in the game!

It's hell loosing that baby weight, but I'm motivated to kick a$$ again. Does it have something to do (BIG CLUE) with the upcoming tv series starring Kermit and those two little piggies?

Some might call this jealousy, but actually it's more along the lines of a French Farce or a Soap Opera as there is a lot of behind-the-scenes 'fooling around' the public is clearly unaware of. Surely TMZ will catch a whiff sooner or later as they usually do. Let's just say there's more here than meets the eye. Snort!

For those unfamiliar with my saga and the notorious muppets, here's a Daily Mail link.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3218820/How-Kermit-starts-dating-new-Muppet-girlfriend-Denise-ending-40-year-romance-Miss-Piggy.html

Remember---you heard it here first!

Quick--the baby is sleeping! Shussssh!

Had anyone ever told me I would be THIS busy with a new baby I'd never have believed them?! Tis true!

I've learned new mommies are the bravest, busiest, and most deserving of down-time in the world. So I'm taking a little "me-time" to write this long overdue post to inform you what's been happening with me. I know you've missed me, right?!

Do you see that purple thing on my head in the photo above? That's a lavender-filled eye pillow. So when my lil darling finally takes his afternoon nap, I lay down, breathe a sigh of relief and whip out my pillow and r-e-l-a-x!!! For as long as I can that is, until...

Yep, that's the way it is all day long: feeding baby, changing the diaper for baby, giving baby a bath, teaching baby, shopping for baby, playing with baby, taking baby for a stroll, and if I'm lucky, he'll take a nap like he is right now! Yay!

So this has been my "transformed" life since last I posted. I'm no longer a crazy biker muppet chick with a weird sense of humor. Now I'm a crazy mommy and even weirder ! Babies have a way of changing you!

However, I've decided to make a return to blogging and You-Tubing and Face-Booking to share my Mommy Life with you. I've already taken time out to keep posting on Twitter and Tumbler because it's relaxing for me, and I like to see what's going on in the world besides the world of babies. 

Keep a look-out for a new video on my You Tube channel soon. The link is on the upper right corner sidebar. 

If you have any Mommy questions which are silly, please make a comment, and I'll answer you--but only if they're truly silly!



 

Down To The Wire

Yes, my LOYAL FOLLOWERS, I'm nearly there after a LONG, LONG pregnancy! This baby co-created by Mookie and me is my biggest creation yet! Of course, in the Muppet World, you never know exactly what you're going to get. It/she/he might be finger puppet for all I know.

But I do know this: muppets take three times longer to conceive, incubate and birth than you humans, so it's a pretty big deal to get pregnant when you're a muppet!

I don't know if you can see my maternity wear very good in this photo, but it says "Born To Be Wild" in gold, and this is what I want: a wild and free child!! With human freedoms being curtailed all over the place, maybe we muppets will save the day with our "under-the-radar" actions. We're actually smarter than we look. Well, most of us anyway.

Hey, if any of you are pals with Stephen Colbert, tell him I want to be on tv with him too. As I sat here all bulged out with baby on board, I was so jealous of Big Bird and that old trash can grouch showing up on The Colbert Report! I think Stephen and I probably share the same genome, at least by the look of his one ear.Have you noticed it? I'm sure we're related. Stephen, are you listening????

My BIG HUGE GINORMOUS BABY BUMP

Happy Holy Daze & Merry Christmas & Fa La La La & All That Cheesy Cheery Stuff!

Greetings from our family to yours dear blog readers! That's us above if you've not forgotten us by now.

2012 has been an amazing year full of blessings: scandal, juicy gossip, delicious drama, mega moves, and lots of promising offers. If we survive the coming 'expiration' date of Dec. 21st , you'll likely see more of me & us on the net & film. 

I'm grateful for your following & re-tweeting on Twitter, liking my Facebook page, following on Tumblr, and getting my bizarre humor on YouTube. Those that 'get' my brand of "So Bad It's Good" on YouTube are a rare breed, a kindred spirit!

And maybe, just maybe, in 2013 I'll be able to move up the ladder from Grade Z to Grade A....it won't be an overnight success, that's for sure, but I'm gonna wallow in my success when it finally happens. Please tag along for the rags to riches story of my life.

Love,

Biker Blond

And Mookie and the muppet tribe too!

 

 

 

Scandal In Da House

So if you were wondering why I've been laying low, it's because I knew these photos on the cover of Muppet Madness were going to be hitting the stands in September....

Those telephoto lens are truly amazing! 

And the pictures don't truly represent what was happening at all!

It looks as if my dear friend Kermit has his hand in my top and nuzzling my neck, but this was far from the truth.

Just ask Kristin Stewart how photos are often misleading!

You should have seen that diva Miss Piggy beating the green out of poor Kermit...he will never be quite the same, of that I'm sure.

We tried to make it up to everyone, including my man Mooki. Actually, he was pretty cool about it as he knows he has my heart, and I would never fool around with Kermit.  

But for the rest of the crew....well, they're partying like animals and back to the OLD normal. 



 

I've Seen The End Of The World

I've seen the End Of The World, and it's name is "Ted".

I give up. Since this movie tops the Box Office, then the end of the world is just around the corner. For Real.


Mooki & I gasped that such a vulgar, rude, crass, raunchy, non-funny movie made it to the top. We sense the writer/creator Seth MacFarlane had so much inner crap he no choice but to dump it, and thus this movie! Our eyes are still hurting from the images.


To make matters worse he mixed in sappy romantic comedy. Ugh!

How did Seth get to this high and low level all at the same time? Simple--he followed a big trend.


Here's the skinny my friends: back in the good old days of movies (a long, long, long time ago), there was such a thing called boundaries. But then came along the popular 'gross-out' movies-- these included horror movies as well as comedies. To be funny it was imagined, one had to push harder & break the offensive barrier.


Limits were tested. Boundaries were stretched. How much gross-out would the public become used to? How far could creators go? Would people actually pay for crap?


And the answer was YES!


Sadly, Ted pushed the boundary further down this offensive, gross-out track. This movie is a gimmick which should have ended up in the round filing cabinet.


I'm now a prepper, because I see what the future holds. 


Thanks Seth for the wake-up call.


















 

On Hats & History

So I'm wasting a perfectly lovely Sunday afternoon with Mooki doing what I absolutely cherish doing: putzing around. (This translates to doing this 'n that and not much else.)

As I was putzing, I came across an old photo of Queen Elizabeth in a hat which truly resembles a place mat. I swear. 

And here's the proof: Queen Elizabeth hat.
 
 So if perchance you read my last post about the Jubilee and my place mat hat, then you'll get me! We Royals love to be Frugal. Thrifty. Unique. Creative. Eccentric.


 It's in our blue blood. Muppets All!